The science is clear: flourishing is not a fixed trait. It’s actually a skillset. One that can be intentionally trained, strengthened, and woven into the fabric of ordinary life.

No matter who or where you are. In meetings all day. Busy parent. Traveling.

The skills of flourishing are annoyingly simple. Which of course, is what makes them challenging. The barriers are often your own thinking and limits you unwittingly, subconsciously have protected yourself with.

But challenges are healthy for you. At least that’s what I believe. 🙂

Four Fundamental Skills

Researchers in the field of contemplative neuroscience (scientists who study things like how meditation affects us biologically) have clearly identified four fundamental skills of flourishing, and I want to share a little bit about each of them in my next 4 emails. Plus give you one or two simple ways to put them into practice, and strengthen these “muscles”.

They are: Awareness, Connection, Insight and Purpose.

(Read more about the science behind these in this newly published book. I'm a big fan of the authors.)

The first skill: Awareness

If you’ve ever explored meditation, you probably started building some skills here. And if you have a smart phone, you know how easy it is for this skill to get hijacked, creating the complete opposite effect of flourishing. Even if you meditate. 😜 🙋‍♀️

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However - despite our human pull to distraction - you can and should still work on this - because even if you’re built for easy distraction, a greater capacity awareness is although your birthright. Trust me.

The science shows that even five minutes a day of consistent, intentional practice can reorganize your brain's well-being circuitry. Consistency matters far more than perfection.

Let me say that again: consistency matters more than never messing up. 👀

The science of habit formation

It’s notoriously hard to start a new routine. Habits feel like they can develop unconsciously (like checking my phone all the time), but routines are conscious habits - habits we choose - like brushing our teeth in the morning.

The most durable behaviors are ones triggered automatically by existing cues. For example, when your alarm goes off (audio cue), you see your toothbrush (a visual cue), you’re switching tasks (kinesthetic cue) — one of these may be easier for you to use as a trigger, depending on how your brain works.

For me - visuals help me a lot - that’s why I love post-its, why I sometimes write on my hand, or why I have a hard time focusing with a lot of clutter around me.

Something to play with

See if you can experiment with this simple practice every day for the next week. If you miss one morning - no biggie - try it at another point during the day. Start again the next day. It shouldn't take you more than a minute, but you're welcome to extend it if you'd like. Just remember - short and consistent beats longer and sporatic when it comes to building your muscle for flourishing. :)

AWARENESS On Waking

Before opening anything on your phone, sit comfortably, eyes closed or softly open, and take five full breaths (use your fingers to effortlessly keep track). Tune into your surroundings and appreciate what you see and hear. Notice how your body feels.

You're not trying to clear your mind.

You're training your attention to rest in the present moment without being swept away.

That's a powerful skill.

Option to repeat a simple mantra silently to yourself, like "be here now. (I did this this morning, and I found it helpful. )

Stay playful

Whatever you do, I hope you find something to smile about today.

Warmly,

Allie